I need to retire. LOL! I’ve still got a number of years I need to work before I can safely retire, you know, unless one of you is an oil baron and wants to just shower me with money. XD

That aside, it’s always rough getting back into the ‘normal’ swing of things after the holidays. I truly think we aren’t meant to work every day like we do. I wish streaming and creating content is all I had to do all day. I love doing it. It’s literally my creative passion! Ah well, such is life right now I guess.

Quick update about the December 2022 Clip Contest – I’m broke. Starting this year (which includes this contest) and going forward I have to give prizes I can afford, so I apologize if there’s any hurt feelings. Plus, giving out Amazon Gift Cards is a giant pain in the keister. Streamloots is much simpler. I hope you will all continue clipping, it helps me out greatly!!

Anyway that’s all I’ve got for you today – love your faces!! – Tan ?

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

Well, here we are! It’s 2023. 2022 is in the rearview and holy crap. This time last year I was a cis male with a duck avatar. Bascially. ? Now I’m a transwoman lesbian and am using my 20+ year old gaming avatar that I’ve built up as my new identity and it feels niiiiiiiice. @#^& I’ve been stupid for so long.

Time to recap. I did a TikTok but I think i need to do it more linear justice:

2021
December – Find out Tanandra.com is available on a whim as I had been using a ripped model from that one MMO about being the last fantasy… *cough* ask me on stream I’ll tell you. I buy Tanandra.com and rebrand *everything* because I was actually ENJOYING streaming again.

2022
January – Decide I need to feminize my voice. But yeah, I’m not trans. Voice changers just suck, I can learn to be a kick ass e-girl. Also founded the Bean Stream Team to have my streamer friends in a team.

February – Well that didn’t last long, I guess I’m trans now. Start HRT on the down low.

March – Start HRT on the up high, with a doctor checking my blood. No more shady stuff. KingOfNightmare sands the rough edges off my model. Thank you, King for version 1.5! ?

April – Freak out and block people on socials. Isolate even harder.

May – Un-freak out. Work up the nerve to come out to Family, In-Laws.

June – Come out at work. Find that I cry a lot more now. I mean, I was a crybaby before but now the tears just flow. Get the model I was using replaced with a muuuch better one. Thank you KingOfNightmare for version 2.0. ?

July – I met more awesome people on the internet.

August – I join PridePrism as a member of Wave 1: Courage

September – Starting to dress more feminine. Just a little, I’m not ready for sundresses yet. But I love it. I still will not go outside unless dressed plain. Very self-conscious that I don’t look how I want. (Still am.)

October – Fix up the gym to start using it regularly – then immediately discover a physical issue that I can’t address just yet. Hooray to being fat forever. ?

November – Hair is growing out, but not forward of course. Keep in mind I was BALD up until February of this year. Actual chill month. I spent a lot of time supporting friends and loved ones and learning more about myself.

December – Guess what, I have autism! Guess what, I have ADHD! Guess what .. arrrghhhh Why has so much shit just gone.. undiagnosed or undiscovered in my life?! Oh, but at least I got version 3.0 of my Tanandra model! Thank you again, KingOfNightmare!! ? (It’s got more than one outfit!!)

So there you go, there’s 2022 summed up for me. Sheeeeesh I hope 2023 is less rollercoaster and more rock and roll. Let’s find out together, cuties!! Love your faces!! – Tan ?????

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

Ugh. I can’t get my sleeping schedule to even out and this is my last week of vacation time. I get Monday off next week and then that’s it. Maybe being back on a regular work schedule will help but somehow I doubt it.

I’m exhausted. Somehow I missed updating the schedule on the main page. I told JamieVoiceOver that I’ve just got too many moving parts to all this. I can’t keep it all in my brain but at the same time it seems silly because it’s not really THAT much, but I can’t do it.

Getting back into FF:XIV feels nice. I like having a good ol’ MMO on the roster. I have *things* to do. Even if they aren’t super important, it’s chill to just chase down easy quests. More later. Love your faces!! ? -Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

What a year. That’s all I’ve got today. I’m sitting here in absolute astonishment of what’s happened, how far I’ve come and what lay ahead.

What a year. Thank you for being on this ride with me – it’s not over by a long shot though so buckle up.

I’m getting back on Final Fantasy. I want to play it, and I want to do well at it. And I’m bringing my wife Dracogiraffa too. We will stream in a bit – after breakfast.

I’m sitting here listening to “Tomorrow and Tomorrow” on repeat on the verge of tears because I’m an even bigger crybaby than I was last year and I love it.

Here’s to 2023. ? – Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

Ok clickbaity title aside, I do apologize. I was too mentally worn out to stream OR visit anyone elses. I was 100% out of spoons. Sheesh. Tonight should be different for several reasons.

#1. I have NUT comin. Well, a new blend maybe since the NUT that I used to love, no one around here carries. I fucking hate it here.

#2. It’s crimba heave. I know I’m not the only one who wants to be around friends. I will endeavor to stream as hard as I can. There may be folks that want to collab too, so we shall see.

#3. I slept like a LOG. HARD. God damn I needed that. Woke up at 7am without an alarm. I gotta do that more often.

Anyway, if I don’t get around to doing a blog tomorrow or if I don’t hear from you for a bit – I love your face. Have as good of a holiday as you can manage! ? -Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

First time in a very long time that I’ve been outside the house. I want to say since Covid hit – but I think there’s been other visits to the ‘outernet’ but I cant recall.

I’m.. exhausted. I will want to stream later but not right at this moment. This was stressful.

I will be hanging around in other’s streams, come find me! ? -Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

Hey there Cuties! I’m debating about streaming tonight (I mean I probably will anyway) but I’m really kinda drained – I did a 5ish hour stream this morning from 4 to 9 am LOL

Played the new High on Life game – basically BugSnax with guns meets a Rick and Morty episode. Kinda. It’s really fun, I am enjoying the hell out of it – and laughing non-stop. The level of detail in the game is insane, and you can tell it was made with care! And it’s pretty fun!

I’m just waking up NOW and need to get in touch with RainbowWaffles and see if we are playing Diggy Diggy Hole tonight or nah and go from there. Love your faces!! ? -Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}

Quick little blog today – I may or may not stream tonight; as we get closer to the big crimbus day I’m gonna have a lot of free time to fix things and hopefully stream more. Actually fixed one issue I was having with this blog and how it’s formatted! So pretty proud of myself about that.

My sleep schedule is dead. I’ve been doing late nights with PridePrism folks and helping some of them with various things. I feel needed and wanted and it feels amazing.

I wanted to clarify something I said that probably didn’t come out right – and knowing I have Autism and ADHD makes it easier for me to come to grips with saying things wrong…. BUT:

I don’t mean to minimize anyone who’s been a friend or follower this whole time. I appreciate everyone and I love you all! ADDITIONALLY having a group of lil gay people that accept me for me unquestioningly has been fucking amazing. Not saying that no one else has but .. I am starting to feel seen and understood, even when I haven’t understood myself, ever. Anyway. Love your faces, cuties!
? -Tan

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Thank you for reading my little blog, here is your reward:
First 50 clickers get free Streamloots cards!
_{This link is good until 02/24/23 at midnight, central time!}