Back on Schedule

Yeah, I’ve re-instituted a schedule again. Let’s see how long I can actually stick to it.

Like others in my found fam I have been going REALLY hard on it – and actually had to be talked down from streaming so much. My family missed me!! ?

It is true that if you have a little bit of luck and put in a little effort, you can grow on Twitch – but you have to be ON for people to find you. I’ve been ON too much. So, back to 4 hours 5x a week. After a while I can start planning 12 hour streams again, as long as they are set goals and I schedule them.

The siren’s call of the stream is strong though. I love streaming and spending time with you all. But I can’t sacrifice the people around me in the process.

Love ya!! ???

Condensing My Platforms!

I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I wanted to see which one became my blue bird replacement. Looks like it’s the other blue app, bluesky.

Mastadon is just.. not the vibe for me, and Spoutible was just not working great. Bluesky’s been OK so it kinda wins by default I guess.

Havent been super active on Youtube or TikTok but yeah I’ve been BUSY on Twitch so.. all is normal. XD

Love all your faces! ?

A Couple Things!

Hey good morning Cuties! ??? I’ve got a couple of things for you real quick:

1 – if you indicated you wished to participate or had consented for the witchy work @itsstyxie @mavisdeluna and I did last night in either of their servers; we finished about 6 hours ago and I am just wiped.

I guess consider this a new ‘coming out’ for me as I’ve been pretty staunchly Athiest to this point but I am finding myself enjoying getting into learning about pantheons and specific gods. I won’t go into more detail here for those who are not interested, but going forward I won’t be silent about it anymore.

I’m adding a witchy channel to the discord somewhere if you are into learning with me!

2 – after dayjob today I’m basically OFF WORK for 5 days. I plan to make use of it and do more longer streams – and bear in mind @mavisdeluna is going to be doing a donothon starting tomorrow so have us both open in separate tabs, if you would.

Thanks, Cuties. I love all your faces. Thanks for being a part of the Cutie Community and for reading this update!

A Little More About Me

Hey there Cuties! CW: Lotta trans stuff, personal history, kinda long

I wanted to take a second and say thank you, everyone. You’ve all been welcoming and lovely and honestly it’s a refreshing change.

If you don’t know me and want to know a little bit about me here it goes:

My name is Tan, online I go by Tanandra. I was an egg for a very long time; until I was 48. Finally figured myself out and came out as a transwoman lesbian. I’ve been on HRT for 1.5 years now.

My whole life I was basically gaslit into believing that since I was attracted to women, and only women, that I must be a man. That’s just how it works. Meanwhile my whole life I was continually wondering what it’d be like to be a woman, having dreams about it, always playing a female role in games or whenever possible, envying women’s clothing choices, on and on.

VTubing was really the breakthrough I needed. When I started streaming I quickly jumped into webcam and greenscreen use – and I enjoyed it. VTubing became more accessable and I enjoyed that as well; but I wasn’t using a lady avatar to begin with. I tried it out a few times the first year and it legit SCARED ME how much I enjoyed it.

I fought my egg cracking. Very hard. Several years worth of effort to prevent it. Finally, one day I decided I wanted to change up my avatars and try to vtube the characters I was playing. I had a Warframe avatar – and we were playing FFXIV, so I learned how to ‘rip’ my character from the game and into my avatar software. This was the final push I needed. Once I had my beautiful character as my avatar, I couldn’t go back.

I started feminizing my voice while STILL DENYING I WAS TRANS. ughhhhh I can’t roll my eyes any harder or they will pop out.

March 2022 I finally got some sense, stopped fighting it, came out as trans (and lesbian) and started HRT with a doctor monitoring me.

It’s been a long year and a half. I moved away from the ‘ripped’ avatar and now am using a custom one. I am super impatient and am still working on myself. I have a very long way to go before I will be content with my appearance. I have many surgeries ahead of me, once I lose the weight I need to lose. It’s a very slow and frustrating process.

Thanks for reading. I love answering questions and talking about my journey and I want to hear about yours!

– Tan ????